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19 November The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary... Hans Hofmann
I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of active paranoiac thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the total discrediting of the world of reality. Salvador Dali
That field hath eyen, and the wood hath ears. - Geoffrey Chaucer (1342 - 1400) -The Knights Tale
16 Oktober
I didn't dress warm enough today - thought I wouldn't need a Hoodie. The weather channel forecast +6 C so that seemed warm enough. But I was cold early in the morning on my way to work.
I try to walk to work - that is if I can get myself out of the apartment by 7:55 AM. Otherwise I grab a bus along the way. I usually get in a walk for at least 20 minutes, and then I grab a bus for a short while. Then after another 7 min walk - I get coffee at either Salisbury House or McDonald's for the last 5 min's of my walk. I prefer though, to walk the complete distance to work. Winter may prove to add some difficulty to this part of my day.
Currently reading. Guns Germs and Steel - the fates of Human Societies, by Jared Diamond - a really good 'read' for the bus or while walking.
24 Mai Took the #20 bus today. It takes quite the wind-y route - Academy, downtown, main, redwood bridge and then up to Henderson. It eliminates my having to stop on graham and then catch a bus on Portage. So that's cool. And the *11 bus came right after I got off it. Wow. I'm not really attached to any church at this point - but have been going to one - well I guess two which are both on the same main road. One much more than the other I was going to a Church called The Meeting Place in downtown wpg. But the Elders decided to cut a Support Program that I was part of and then later was hired as Program Director of. The peak attendance was 90 people - who would show up every Tuesday night. Every single Tuesday night of the year. They never came out qnd gave a reason except that they told me and another leader that we could. ... take it elsewhere. Imagine that, eh? The doors would have been locked the following Tuesday with no word at all to the attendees. - I stayed on for 3 months and carried the Program. And then it was done. It' was a very painful process - the attendees and Leaders were confused and heartbroken over this Ministry being cut out. Many were from the inner city but mostly from all over the city. So after some time, some people got together last March. We met and planned and ... began a Tuesday evening support group; It began the second week just last June (2008). The Harbour -- Sent from my mobile device 21 Mai
I was surprised to read about the administration of Garlic to ward off
vampires. Read it on pg 117 - journal entry September 11 - in Dracula. Dracula by Bram Stoker . Dr van Helsing administers Garlic to Lucy.
She continued to have fits and was not getting sleep nor rest. Lucy
had the two small prick marks on her neck - which only Dr Van Helsing
could identify. ... Signs that a Vampire had been to see Lucy. And
Lucy would not know what had happened to her. Nor could she recount
the night that she was attacked.
Reading while on the Bus - a great way to catch up on my Reading
--
Sent from my mobile device
10 Mai
i went to Brookside Cemetery today. to see my mom's grave. i really do miss her very very much. she died on September 17th. seven months ago. in a week, it will be eight months. such gut wrenching sorrow i feel; when i think about her. she had ovarian cancer. the image will never leave me - of her acute suffering.
i remember when her mother died. my grandmother. i remember how she wept. she would often say "I miss my mother so very much" .
my mom had a deep faith. i was struck by her constant prayers while she lay on her death bed. while no longer having the ability to speak aloud, she prayed while barely having strength to move her mouth. tiny whispers. her hand moved in a small circle to cross herself.
she said good-bye to me. she had no voice. i raced through traffic to make it to her bedside. my sister phoned me at work and said - bethy you better come now.
it was like she was waiting for me. her youngest. her baby. she always called me her baby. i rushed her her bedside. she tried so hard to speak to me. i held her hand - a gentle squeeze back from her. and then she left this world. i watched her leave... me, her last child, held her hand during her last breath.
can it really be? that she is gone?
I love you mom. happy mothers day. 12 April Jesus Before Pilate Very early in the morning, the chief priests, with the elders, the teachers of the law and the whole Sanhedrin, reached a decision. They bound Jesus, led him away and handed him over to Pilate. "Are you the king of the Jews?" asked Pilate.
"Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied. The chief priests accused him of many things. So again Pilate asked him, "Aren't you going to answer? See how many things they are accusing you of." But Jesus still made no reply, and Pilate was amazed. Now it was the custom at the Feast to release a prisoner whom the people requested. A man called Barabbas was in prison with the insurrectionists who had committed murder in the uprising. The crowd came up and asked Pilate to do for them what he usually did. "Do you want me to release to you the king of the Jews?" asked Pilate, knowing it was out of envy that the chief priests had handed Jesus over to him. But the chief priests stirred up the crowd to have Pilate release Barabbas instead. "What shall I do, then, with the one you call the king of the Jews?" Pilate asked them. "Crucify him!" they shouted. "Why? What crime has he committed?" asked Pilate.
But they shouted all the louder, "Crucify him!" Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified. The Soldiers Mock Jesus The soldiers led Jesus away into the palace (that is, the Praetorium) and called together the whole company of soldiers.They put a purple robe on him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on him. And they began to call out to him, "Hail, king of the Jews!" Again and again they struck him on the head with a staff and spit on him. Falling on their knees, they paid homage to him. And when they had mocked him, they took off the purple robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him out to crucify him. The Crucifixion A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross. They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull).Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. And they crucified him. Dividing up his clothes, they cast lots to see what each would get. It was the third hour when they crucified him. The written notice of the charge against him read: THE KING OF THE JEWS.They crucified two robbers with him, one on his right and one on his left. Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, "So! You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, come down from the cross and save yourself!" In the same way the chief priests and the teachers of the law mocked him among themselves. "He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! Let this Christ, this King of Israel, come down now from the cross, that we may see and believe." Those crucified with him also heaped insults on him. The Death of Jesus At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" When some of those standing near heard this, they said, "Listen, he's calling Elijah." One man ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to Jesus to drink. "Now leave him alone. Let's see if Elijah comes to take him down," he said. With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, he said, "Surely this man was the Son of God!" 
08 Dezember
this afternoon, í started preparing to put up the Christmas Tree and other decorations.
i'm somewhat sleep deprived because of the flu that hit me early early Friday morning. fever, chills, horribleness, etc.
i drove 1.5 hours one way to Carman this morning... and then back... a long stretch of highway that is usually a fun drive, but this time somewhat difficult with aches and chills coursing through my body.
i watched Good Will Hunting (movie) will a friend this evening. the Math problem that was featured was part of Linear Algebra and Differential Equations.
early this morning, while outside of the city, i saw a piece of corn stalk sticking out the underside of a rural truck. i wish i would have had my camera along...
20 November
...fingers too froze to message on my phone while waiting for bus #11
...songs escape-ing through earplugs two seats over - lyrics dancing in the air while tired passengers look out the dark windows
.......................... earlier in the late afternoon, k.d. lang's Hallelujah video on youtube ... while at my desk... before i shut my laptop;
uploading pages on a server........ adding fingerprints...
............... conflict. caught in the middle. friendship threat - ened ..... circumstances overwhelming ...
..... sadness smothering me
...I didn't bring my sunglasses with me today,
can't hide the tears that escape..
while on the back seat of bus #11
... wipe my tears with my 8 ft scarf... while gathering glimpses of Christmas lighting - swirls, snowflakes - on the boulevard of main street....
as the bus races by ... tires grinding .
oh i miss my mom so very very much
... stepping off the bus onto the curb of the sidewalk ... my sore eyes stinging from the sudden wall of cold winter air ...
wrapping my scarf around and around and around ...
27 September
"it was late on a bitterly cold New Year's Eve. the snow was falling. a poor little girl was wandering in the dark cold streets; she was bareheaded and barefoot. she had of course had slippers on when she left home, but they were not that good, for they were huge. they had last been worn by her mother, and they fell off the poor little girl's feet when she was running across the street to avoid two carriages that were approaching rapidly. one of the shoes could not be found at all, and the other was picked up by a boy who ran off with it, saying it would do for a cradle when he had children of his own."
~The Little Match Girl - Andersen's Fairy Tales
when i was little, my mom and my aunty pearly read to me from Fairy Tale books. The Little Match Girl, and The Red Shoes were two of my favourite tales.
'this frightened her terribly and she wanted to throw off the red shoes, but they stuck fast. she tore off her stockings, but the shoes had grown fast to her feet. so off she danced, and off she had to dance, over fields and meadows, in rain and sunshine, by day and by night, but at night it was fearful."
i began taking boxes of books out of the small storage room in my apartment a few weeks ago. i bought a new white book cube shelf and placed it right beside another white book cube shelf in my computer room. the books are still in random stacks on the floor; and stuffed into cubes that were already full of other books and various things. it has been five days since my mom's funeral, and i wonder when i will find energy to arrange each of the books in the cubes of the book shelf.
i use public transit; standing outside at the bus stop, or sitting in the back of the bus, it's a favorite place to to be alone with myself. to scribble thoughts.
... a bottle with some added pepsi. and voices that grow louder... when i'm the only passenger at the back of the bus.
23 September
I wish I could phone my mom
and that she
would answer
my mom's funeral
was
yesterday
My mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer last October 16th, 2007. She died on Sept 17th.
21 September
Have you ever
confused
a dream
with life?
k.d. lang
Hallelujah
Well, I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well, your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
You know, I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me, do you?
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Maybe there is a god above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
01 Juli
a walk through Brookside on Sunday afternoon...
would you ever wonder about me...
John McKenna
two generations later... so beautiful
28 Juni
Who You'd Be today
Kenny Chesney
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today
Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder, what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today
Today, Today, Today
Today, Today, Today
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday
Someday, Someday
24 April
Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen. - John le Carre
Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain
Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes
They say Spain is pretty though I've never been
Well Daniel says it's the best place that he's ever seen
Oh and he should know, he's been there enough
Lord I miss Daniel, oh I miss him so much
Daniel my brother you are older than me
Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal
Your eyes have died but you see more than I
Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky
Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain
Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes
Oh God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes
Wake Me Up When September Ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent may never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my fathers come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Ring out the bells again
Like we did when Spring began
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my fathers come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
Wake me up when September ends
Wake me up when September ends 22 April
NOT WANTED ON THE JOURNEY by Timothy Findley A disturbing memory had begun to take shape in Mrs. Noyes' (mrs. noah's) mind as she watched the figure and the slow, patient process of the journey it was making back and forth from the rivers edge ... the way it stared at the water ... the way it bend down - ungainly - to touch it, as if to verify it was really there ... and then moving backward - the slow, almost sad deliberation as it scanned the stones and reckoned what way the stones might help her ... Her. Lotte. It was Lotte. Emma's sister. Mrs. Noyes ran, dropping the apple aprons, lifting her skirts in order to gain speed more quickly over the grass and over the road and over the stones. Dear God - it was Lotte. Alone. (Book Two pg. 148).
EMBRACING DEFEAT / Japan in the Wake of World War II by John W. Dower Before the war crimes trials actually convened, SCAP, the IPS, and Japanese officials worked behind the scenes not only to prevent Emperor Hirohito from being indicted, but also to slant the testimony of the defendants to ensure that no one implicated him. Former admiral and prime minister Yonai, following Fellers' advice, apparently did caution Tojo to take care not to incriminate the emporer in any way. The collaborative campaign to shape the nature of the trials went considerably beyond this, however. High officials in court circles and the government collaborated with GHQ in compiling lists of prospective war criminals, while the hundred or so prominent individuals eventually arrested as "Class A" suspects and incarcerated in Sugamo Prison for the duration of the trial (of whom only twenty-eight were indicted) solemnly vowed on their own to protect their sovereign against any possible taint of war responsibility. (Chapter - Imperial Democracy: Evading Responsibility pg. 325).
SURPRISE, SECURITY, AND THE AMERICAN EXPERIENCE by John Lewis Gaddis It patronizes the administration to explain its Iraqi preoccupation in terms of fillial obligation. Despite his comment that Saddam was the "guy who tried to kill my dad," George W. Bush was no Hamlet, agonizing over how to meet a tormented parental ghost's demands for revenge. Shakespeare might still help, though, if you shift the analogy to Henry V. For that monarch understood the psychological value of victory - of defeating an adversary sufficiently thoroughly that you shatter the confidence of others, so that they'll roll over themselves before you have to roll over them. (Chapter 3 - The Twenty-First Century)
THE ETHNIC VEGETARIAN by Angela Shelf Medearis 3/4 cup butter, 4 cups water, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 cup hominy grits (not quick-cooking), 1 teaspoon garlic powder, 2 cups shredded mild Cheddar Cheese, 1 eggs, at room temperature, 3/4 cup plain soy milk, at room temperature. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 2-quart baking dish with 1/4 cup of the butter. Bring the water and salt to a boil in a large saucepan over high heat. Slowly stir in the grits. Cook for 3 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the remaining 1/2 cup butter, the garlic powerder, and the cheese. Mix well. Place the egg and soy milk in a small bowl. Mix well. Add the egg mixture to the grits mixture, stirring until well-combined. Pour the grits into the prepared casserole. Bake for 1 hour, or until the casserole is firm. Cheese Grits (Makes 6 Servings)
LAMB a novel The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Chistopher Moore After I overheard my parents talking about Joshua's (Jesus') mother's madness, I often watched her for signs, but she seemed to go about her duties like all the other mothers, tending to the littles ones, working in the garden, fetching water, and preparing food. There were no signs of going about on all fours or foaming at the mouth as I had expected. She was younger than many of the mothers, and much younger than her husband Joseph, who was an old man by the standards of our time. Joshua (Jesus) said that Joseph wasn't his real father, but he wouldn't say who his father was. when the subject came up, and Mary was in earshot. She would call to Josh, then put her finger to her lips to signal silence. "Now is not the time Joshua, Biff would not understand." (Chapter 1, pg 14)
BOUNDARIES When To Say Yes How To Say No To Take Control Of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend External Focus People tend to look outside of themselves for the problem. This external perspective keeps you a victim. It says that you can never be okay until someone else changes. This is the essence of powerless blame. It may make you morally superior to that person (in your own thinking, never in reality), but it will never fix the problem. Face squarely the resistance to looking at yourself as the one who has to change. It is crucial that you face yourself, for that is the beginning of boundaries. Responsibility begins with an internal focus of confession and repentance. You must confess the truth about the ways you are keeping your boundarlylessness going, and you must turn from those ways. You must look at yourself and face the internal resistance of wanting the problem to be on the outside of you. (Resistence To Boundaries Ch. 14 pg. 269)
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. by Stephen Hawking 08 April
I prefer truth. Literature written by Tolstoi, Dostoevsky (Crime & Punishment), Dickens... each wrote of the present time of the day. Though seen as Fiction, were actually written with aspects of truth. Truth that caused controversey. Truth isn't always accepted. Movies - Girl Interrupted, The Hours, Stigmata, Running with Scissors.... Running with Scissors - the Memoir written by Augusten Burroughs . Whether the term used would be dysfunctional or crazed family life between the covers - my search for a good read will continue to focus on the truth. My latest read - Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Jesus' Childhood Friend certainly is NOT the truth. But scripture truth is intertwined through-out. Scripture falsehood is also used. Jesus playing with his friend Biff... Biff finding that as long as Jesus is his best friend; that their escapades include aspects such as learning Hebrew instead of playing kick the Cannanite.
...
14 März
db Productions has produced Audio at Springs Church in Calgary for the past 6 months. I flew in two weekends ago . in the Photos are... the Calgary Skyline, my luggage, Bruce and Pastor Leon Fontaine, a large toy in Calgary airport that I played with, Bruce working the board, etc... I had fun. and it was nice to meet the people that bruce has been working with all these past months. and it was good to have a break. beth-world needed an escape. 18 Februar
I drove Bruce to the airport early yesterday morning - i think it was 5:45 AM; weather was clear and roads wet with the sudden onset of milder post midnight temperatures. By the time I arrived home a mere 45 minutes later, a blizzard had descended up on the city... looking out from my 16th storey balcony, the air was suddenly very cold, my sight of the city suddenly hampered by a wall of snow smothering the morning air. Sleep was calling to me, but I ignored it. Even though I had fallen asleep just four hours earlier, I knew that returning to sleep would mess with the mood patterns in my day. I picked Cheri up at 9:50 AM and we went to church for a few brief moments. I wanted to connect with my friends, my community - a church community of those who find connection and those who walk through the doors on a sunday to find that they're observing an organism completely foreign to them. it would fail to be a church community without both. self-absorbed christians are not a church community. a community in danger of morphing into their own static organism living within a sorry isolation. the danger is that in the end, the one's outlook can become horribly skewed - and that their resemblence to the other is not that much different. from this world - if we dare attempt to peer through the obscured lense to the next ; maybe we'll find that we're all just waiting for the bus.
I hope and pray that my heart continues to ache and care for those whose burdens near-blind them; that I won't shudder at their misgivings; that I will forever remember that I have been beside them in the very same place, and that it's only by the amazing selflessness of God's people who reached out to me, that I am where I am today. I hope and pray that I can continue to endure the subtle bullying of those who prefer to retain the status quo. I hope and pray that I will not become blinded to those of whom I once was. I hope that in the weeks and days and hours ahead, that I will find the strength to grieve that which I've lost... in all this. Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud. Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will preserve me... Your power will save me. The Lord will work out his plans for my life - for your faithful love, Oh Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me. Psalm 138: 6-8 (from the Bible).
there have been a number of changes in my life since April 2005
- and yet my mood appears to remain the same...
______________________________________________________
from April 13, 2005 - my first Post on this Spaces Blog of mine
- I copied and pasted it below.
______________________________________________________
April 13
The best cure for melancholy ... is industry - movie quote The Weight of Water
Everything is but a dream within a dream - Edgar Allen Poe
______________________________________________________
and from April 14, 2005 - my second Post on this Spaces Blog of mine
- I copied and pasted it below.
______________________________________________________
April 14
A Poem by Beth
I wrote a poem the other day... my office was empty of people - everyone either went home early, or had a day off. My mind did not want to focus on work, so I allowed it to wander instead. I may eventually finish the poem, but who knows...
Title: A Poem by Beth
Subtitle: this is what happens when beth works alone...
sitting over here
by myself in this corner
as I eat chips, I wonder...
can anyone hear the crunching?
so I play sad songs on...
Windows Media Player instead
do the splash of falling tears
and wailing guitar licks
drown out the crunching...
of these crispy salt jewels?
will the light lime flavor
relieve the melancholy that...
threatens to engulf my soul?
have my fellow workers
abandoned their cubicles
or am I to blame for their tardiness...
have the whirring and clanking of my Technology
caused them inconsolable torment?
as they face income-less lives
will the waves of guilt
that wash over my iron-deficient frame...
subside?
16 Februar My dolls are real. This is Toby. I've had him for a very long time. I gave myself the name Toby when I was small - because sometimes I didn't want to be a girl.
04 Februar
i ended up walking for quite a bit home today - the 68 bus that i grab right after the 19, doesn't show up for about 25 minutes. so instead of standing in the winter wind, I walked. just about all the way to Osborne St; from the 19 bus stop at Queen Elizabeth bridge. on the way to work today, i wrote things in my journal - write write write write... i'm really tired right now, even though it's only 8:42pm. which isn't unusual for a monday evening. monday evenings, i often spend the evening horizontal on the couch. monday evenings i'm usually dead tired. but this evening, i've managed to stay vertical - laundry has kept me awake. oh and so has the red rose tea w/baileys & canadian rye whiskey. i wanted to listen to a specific youtube video at work today, but there wasn't any time for that. Work was crazy busy today - which is really good. this is the video - 'when I'm gone' by simple plan. i listened to it quite a bit the last two weeks of my previous job. i sent the url to a friend today - figured he might find it humorous ... obviously i should be sending out more positive, life building things...
When I'm Gone
by Simple Plan
I look around me
But all I seem to see
Is people going nowhere
Expecting sympathy
It’s like we’re going through the motions
Of the scripted destiny
Tell me where’s our inspiration
If life wont wait
I guess it’s up to meWhoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We wont come back, the world its calling out
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone...Procrastination running circles in my head
While you sit there contemplating you’ll wind up left for dead (left for dead)
Life is what happens
While you’re busy making your excuses
Another day, another casualty
But that won’t happen to meWhoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We wont come back, the world its calling outWhoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone...Let’s go…!
Won’t look back
When I say goodbye
We’re gonna leave this world behind me
Gonna take what’s mine tonight
‘cause every wasted day
Becomes a wasted chance
You’re gonna wake up feeling sorry
‘cause life won’t wait
I guess it’s up to youWhoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We wont come back, the world its calling out
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone...
24 Januar
i didn't dress warm enough for the bus ride this morning. i decided to wear my red pea-jacket to work; but found that i was soon freezing at the bus stop. at first i thought it was just the wind-tunnel that forms between my high-rise and the one beside it; but as soon as my walk on the drive-way ended at the sidewalk, i realized that the weather really was very cold. it's been at -45 celcius the past week. i guess i shouldn't have listened to the weather channel when they predicted that it would be warmer today. i enjoy riding with public transit, i think it's alot of fun. once i figured out the routes and fares, i found winnipeg to be very easy to get around. i opened my bible while on the bus this morning - read from the book of ephesians 2:8-10. "god saved you by his spiritual favour when you believed. and you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from god. salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. for we are god's masterpiece. he has created us anew in christ jesus, so that we can do the good things that he planned for us long ago." the man on the seat beside me was reading 'The Economist'. i left work early today - sore throat, feeling feverish... went home, put on a movie - Running With Scizzors - and sat down to my lenovo computer notebook... first i put my favorite lime green blanket around me and settled down to create something. made a cup of red rose tea, with a spash of Baileys and Canadian Rye Whiskey. i tend to choose 'subtitles' from the movie menu. although i prefer them to be in french while the movie plays in english.
Augusten Burroughs "i love french movies, sleeping with ____ , a weeping clown appears. i don't really understand the weeping clown part". Neil Bookman "it represents the loss of innocence". "Running With Scizzors (Memoirs of a Shattered Childhood)" by Augusten Burroughs.
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